Selected Families – The New York Times

Today, as we celebrate Fourth of July in the United States, I think about the changes in the family, about the people we invite to the picnic, about those with whom we will watch fireworks. Perhaps you will be with your parents and siblings, with your children, your children’s children. Perhaps you will get together with close friends, with neighbors, reunite with your pandemic pack.

Last week marked the end of Pride Month in the United States. Pride in general is a celebration of LGBTQ rights, but for many members of queer communities, it is also a celebration of their chosen family.

Selected families created outside the structures (and often instead) of the traditional nuclear family. In the case of the Bickersons, a group of 10 to 20 gay women, most of whom live near Asheville, North Carolina, that means noisy Thanksgivings, fishing trips and a three-day birthday party. It also means that they work at each other’s homes, help each other sober up, and provide love and support when someone in the group is sick.

“We didn’t have to censor,” one of the Bickersons’ members, Lenny Lasater, told The Times. “We were real, we were honest, and we could expect to be met with empathy and understanding.”

When the family of origin is absent or unsupportive, the choice of family is important. And even if your biological family is intact, developing close, supportive relationships with neighbors, friends, and colleagues can provide a long-awaited kinship, as many of us discovered during the pandemic. The pandemic group was a temporary chosen family, born out of necessity. People who otherwise might never have brought each other groceries or shared strategies for finding toilet paper, let alone discussing life and death, have suddenly become each other’s confidantes.

Once you know the rewards for such unexpected intimacy, it seems silly that any chosen family should be temporary. As people, at varying speeds and levels of comfort, move away from the most intense stages of the pandemic, is there any reason why love, interdependence, and gifts should not continue?

The beauty of the chosen family is that you choose it. There is freedom in this, the opportunity to create a community that corresponds to your values. Take old gaya group of “grandfluencers” who live together in a house in the Californian desert and create video for their 7.6 million TikTok followers. “As you reach old age, a move to a nursing home is expected, and many older people agree to this plan,” said Robert Reeves, a member of the group. “What we do, through our friendship and mutual support, changes the course of life.”

Do you have a chosen family? tell me about this. Until then, enjoy your holiday.

Lives lived: Vladimir Zelenko gained nationwide attention in 2020 when the White House adopted his hydroxychloroquine regimen. He died at 48.

Policy note: This new sports section is written by The Athletic staff.

Kevin Durant’s next home: The Brooklyn Nets superstar has applied for a trade. Athletic John Hollinger explored possible trade routes to Los Angeles with the Lakers or Clippers, and also fits into the Phoenix and Toronto. Nothing looks easy on paper. How about a return to Golden State? There are clear obstacleswe found out yesterday. The clock is ticking.

“The safest thing would be not to return.” There were 57 Russian players in the NHL who participated in league games in the 2021/22 season. Now an important question looms over the off-season: if these players return to Russia to see their families, they will return?

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There is never too much fried chicken. A variation currently taking the US by storm: Taiwanese fried chicken marinated in soy sauce, rice wine and five spice powder.

Chefs are reimagining street food. They put Taiwanese fried chicken on sandwiches and steamed buns, serve it on sliced ​​white bread with pickles and drizzle sauces in recognition of regional American dishes, Cathy Ervey writing in The Times.

“Obviously it symbolizes Taiwanese food, but it brings back memories to me,” said Los Angeles-based chef David Kuo. “Eating something with bones in front of the TV was a lot of fun.”